7 choices

An excerpt from Seven Choices for Success and Significance by Dr. Nido R. Qubein

What is success? Only you can define it in your own life. In my own life, I have attempted to define both Success and Significance.

To me, Success is secular. Significance is spiritual.

It doesn’t matter how you define your own spirituality. Spiritual matters are always finer, deeper, and longer lasting than secular matters.

Success focuses on three Fs:

• Fans
• Fame
• Fortune

Success is focused on tasks, even goals.

Significance also focuses on three Fs:

• Faith
• Family
• Friends

But, significance focuses on purpose. Why am I here? What do I do with the talents, experiences and skills that I have? How can I make the world a better place? How do I plant seeds of greatness in the lives of those around me? How do I make an impact in the circles of influence where I find or place myself?

To choose success and significance, you must be a strategic thinker who:

• Has a clear vision of what you want to accomplish
• Develops a solid strategy that answers three questions:

- Who or what are we today?

- Who do we want to become?
- How do we get there?

• Employs practical systems to achieve your goals
• Commits to consistent execution because in consistency, success
emerges.

When implementing your strategic plan for success, it really comes down to three “Ds”:

Decide what you want most to achieve
Determine the first step to getting what you want
Do the first thing that will start you moving toward your goal.

Using these seven keys, you can choose success and significance. But keep this in mind: success is not a matter of luck, not an accident of birth, not a reward for virtue. The most successful people I know are the ones who have something to do, somewhere to be and someone to love.

No one is responsible for your success or your joy. You must search for it and be in a continual state of earning it.

To merely succeed is not an end in itself. You must use your success to impact other people…to impact the world…to Live Life from the Inside Out.

It all starts with the choices you make – they determine the person you will become.

The 5 Ps

The following is from Charging the Human Battery:  50 Ways to Motivate Yourself by Mac Anderson

“He who has health has hope. And he who has hope has everything.”

~Arabian Proverb

Abraham Heschel said, “Self-respect is the root of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.” More than anything, good health is the result of discipline and your ability to say “no” when you need to. Saying no to sleeping in when you could be exercising, saying no to the cheeseburger when it could be a salad, saying no to something that will add more stress to your life. No question about it…good health and discipline are joined at the hip.

In Brian Tracy’s personal development seminars, he teaches the five “Ps” of excellent health. Read them often as a reminder of what it takes to stay healthy.

The 5 Ps for Good Health

1. Proper Exercise

The most important exercise for a long life is aerobic exercise. Walk, run, swim, etc., to get your heart rate up to a high level for at least thirty minutes three times a week.

2. Proper Diet

As Ben Franklin said, “Eat to live rather than live to eat.” The keys, according to Tracy, are lean sources of protein, a variety of fruits and vegetables, and lots of water.

3. Proper Weight

You’ll look good, feel good and feel more in control of your life when you’re at a healthy weight.

4. Proper Rest

More than 60 percent of adults do not get enough sleep. Most people need eight hours a night. You also need regular breaks from work, both weekends and vacations.

5. Proper Attitude

This, according to Tracy, is perhaps the most important of all. The quality that is most predictive of health, happiness and long life is “optimism.” The more optimistic you are about yourself and your life, the better your health in all areas.

So focus on the five “Ps” to stay healthy, stay happy and to stay motivated.

What is permanence?

Nothing in the world is permanent, 
and we're foolish when we ask anything to last,
but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.
If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it
only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.

W. Somerset Maugham, 
The Razor's Edge, 1943

Every parent/guardian and all the children in our modern society should read this

Every parent/guardian and all the children in our modern society should read this


One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered , "none."

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" 

The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees."

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?"

The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner.".
The director requested the youth to show his hands.

The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?"
The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books.  Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning."

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high.

When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands.
His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that ...
1. It was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fees.
2. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed  all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
_____________________________________________________

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes."

The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."

The youth said.....
Number  1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, I would not  be successful  today. 
Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only now do I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. 
Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for in my Manager".
1. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others;
2. A person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done;
3. And a person who would not put money as his only goal in life.
The director said, "You are hired".

Later on, this young person worked very hard...
1. and received the respect of his subordinates.
2. Every employee worked diligently and as a team.
3. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would 
1. develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first.
2. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts.
3. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager,
4. he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. 

The people who may be good academically 
1. may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel  a sense of achievement.
2. They will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more.
If we are like this kind of protective parents, are we really showing loveor are we destroying the kid instead?

You can let your kid ...
1. live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. 
But when you are cutting grass,please let them experience it. 
After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowl together with their brothers and sisters 

It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because...
1. you want to love them in the right way.
2. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day, their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person.

The most important thing is your ...
1. kid learns how to appreciate the effort and
2. experience the difficulty
3. and learns the ability to work with others to get things done

To the friend who asked me for advice:

You need to hear one thing first: You will get through this.

It won’t be easy and there is no way to make it different from what it is and certainly if you can refrain from punching the next person who suggests that it is a blessing in disguise or a learning opportunity you are on the path to enlightenment.

Let’s not pretend. This is going to be a tough period for you.

But know this: You will find you have more strength than you realized. You will find you can give up things you thought you needed but you actually don’t.

You will need all your strength. So be careful not to undercut yourself.

You deserve better. But you will have to fight for what you deserve.

So fight!

Learn to love

Learn to love the challenges, and you will grow stronger. 


Learn to love putting forth effort, and you'll find yourself becoming more capable and effective.

Learn to love making a positive contribution, and your life will grow richer. 

Learn to love being around people who are different than you, and you'll gain many valuable new perspectives.

Learn to love discovering what you do not know, and your knowledge will greatly expand. 

Learn to love truly listening, and your wisdom will increase.

Learn to love giving, and your life will be blessed. 

Learn to love being thankful, and you'll know real abundance.

Learn to love the ordinary moments, and you'll find each day filled with warm golden treasures. 

Learn to love simply being, and you'll rise to a whole new level of awareness.

Learn to love something about each day, and your days will bring rich fulfillment. 

Learn to love, and you'll know how to live.

-- Ralph Marston