Saturday, December 26, 2009

Another year, another challenge

It's the time of the year again, where I will look back and do some reflection.
Anything I could have done better? Yup.
Anything good that I did? YES.
Anything bad that I did? I won't do it again.
I thought 2009 was going to be a good year.
Turned out to be one of the worst years I've had yet.
Made more money, yes, but deficient in so many other things.

2010 is the Year of the Tiger.
If anything, this is the year to go for the goals set and to achieve them.
Happy New Year and God bless everyone!

The paradox of our times

We have taller buildings but shorter tempers,
wider roads but narrower viewpoints,
we spend more, but have less,
buy more but enjoy less,
we have bigger houses , but smaller families,
more conveniences, but less time,
we have more degrees but less sense,
more knowledge but less judgment,
more experts yet more problems,
more medicine but less wellness.
we have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
we talk too much, love too seldom and hate too often.
we drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, but laugh too little ,
drive too fast,
get too angry,
stay up too late,
get up too tired,
read too little, watch too much TV and pray too seldom.

We have learnt how to make a living but not a life,
we have added years to life but not life to years,
we have been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour.

We conquered outer space but have not conquered our hearts...

How our children think

I am the bad cop in my family. My wife plays the good cop.
The fun is when we switch roles.
I am lucky to have good parents. I can only hope to emulate them.
Tomorrow's my father's 76th birthday.
Happy birthday, Daddy! And many happy returns!

Here's an example of how we may under-appreciate our parents:

At: 4 Years: My daddy knows only to love.
At: 6 Years: My daddy is great.
At: 10 Years: My daddy is good but is short tempered
At: 12 Years: My daddy was very nice to me when I was young.
At: 14 Years My daddy is getting anxious about me.
At: 16 Years My daddy is not in line with the current times.
At: 18 Years My daddy is becoming increasingly cranky.
At: 20 Years Oh! Its becoming difficult to tolerate daddy. Wonder how Mother puts up with him.
At: 25 Years Daddy is objecting to everything.
At: 30 Years It's becoming difficult to manage my son. I was so scared of my father when I was young.
At: 40 Years Daddy brought me up with so much discipline. Even I should do the same.
At: 45 Years I am baffled as to how my daddy brought us up.
At: 50 Years My daddy faced so many hardships to bring us up. I am unable to manage a single son.
At: 55 Years My daddy was so far sighted and planned so many things for us. He is one of his kind and unique..he is great and knows only to love.

Thus, it took 56 years to complete the cycle and come back to the 1st. stage.

Realize the true value of your parents before its too late...

Friday, December 18, 2009

A gem by Barry Maher

Dear Lorie: Thanks for Writing

By Barry Maher

A few years ago, a management and sales expert cameup with what he considered a first-rate idea. With so many unhappy, lonely people in the world, he figured he could provide them with a little comfort and make money at the same time by offering them personalized, written advice on their problems.
Since so many people have problems that are similar,he figured he could train his employees to write a quick paragraph or two of personalization, then fill up the rest of the letter with appropriate boilerplate.
He placed trial ads in all the leading tabloids. The problems and the checks came pouring in.
He read four letters.

And immediately killed the project.

"I realized I was dealing with living, breathing people," he says, "not a marketing opportunity. I realized the answers I'd provide would have an effect on their lives. They all had such heavy burdens compared to anythingI'd ever gone through. Their problems went far beyond the scope of any boilerplate, beyond the scope of any quick, pat answers. And I was completely unqualified to tamper in their lives. I ended up returning their money, and absorbing the price of the ads."
But he did a little more than that. With each refund he sent along a personal, handwritten response. This is one of those letters.

Dear Lorie;
Thanks for writing. Sorry to hear of your situation. Sometimes we simply have to endure until we finally get the life we deserve. And you've endured. I'm returning your $9.95 because I want you to have the money. From your letter, it sounds likeyou need it more than I do, and I want the best for you.

I also want YOU to want the best for you.

I know you feel small. I know you feel alone. But you're not alone. You're a human being which means that you're related to all of us, a relative, apart of us all.
Biologically, in your genes, all your ancestors going back to the beginning of time are a part of you. They struggled and slaved so that you, their descendant,would someday walk this planet. It's taken billions ofyears to create the universe of possibilities that's within you.
If you undervalue yourself, if you sell yourself short, you're undervaluing all of us, and all of those who came before you.
And even beyond that, Lorie, you are, as an individual human, a miraculous being, more alike than unlike the greatest men and women who ever lived. More alike than unlike Jesus and Einstein and Lincoln and Mozart and Mother Teresa and Vincent Van Gogh, with many of their greatest qualities lying somewhere inside you. With thoughts and feelings and desires. And, most miraculous of all, the divinity within you which we call free will. Which gives you the ability to control those feelings and desires, and therefore to control your own destiny, to actually control what you are today and what you will be tomorrow.
Your responsibility, as I see it, is to use that free will to make the most of every instant of the life which so many, including yourself, have participated in creating.

Always the Best,
Barry Maher

Happy holidays, Everyone.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

How do we find our way to forgiveness?

I used to have a problem with forgiveness.
A columnist whom I admire, Cary Tennis put it succintly when he said,"Why does it take a serious disease to make us rethink our lives?"
Now, to give an example, the few times I encountered a Daniel, I had problems with them, or rather they found problems with me.
I was beginning to think that all people named Daniel were arseholes.
Then I found out that the last Daniel who clashed with me had a brain tumor. Which made him think, say and behave irrationally.
He was more afraid of dying and that made him think he had to hang on to his ideals more than anything else.
I used to recite the mantra of,"Forgive, but DON'T forget".
Now, to me, it seems so silly that you carry this burden of unforgotten misdemeanours with you all the time.
Now, I'm going to quote Cary Tennis since he discovered he had cancer. Read and think about it.

I wanted to say more about forgiveness.
I mentioned yesterday that one has to go through an internal process to arrive at a moment of letting go. This process can be quickened by having a scare.
My recent cancer diagnosis was just such a scare.
One thought such a scare elicits is that we have been living all wrong. We've been stressed, angry, hurried, not taking good care of ourselves. We think, "Perhaps that led to this disease." We also think, "I've been wasting time worrying when I could have been enjoying life more." And we sometimes think, "I've been holding on to resentments that are doing no one any good."
As we see how our attention has been wasted regretting the past and fearing the future, we pay more attention to the here and now. As a result, we trust our intuition more. This leads to a greater incidence of synchronicity, or apparently positive coincidence.
So it was that the other night I found myself attending a meeting. It was not terribly unusual for me to be there, but I could have skipped it. I followed my instincts.
There it turned out was someone with whom I had had a strong friendship followed by a falling out. It had been years. I had been stuck believing that this person owed me something. I had been insisting that I would not budge in my poor opinion of this person until the imagined debt was repaid. I felt put-upon, ignored, dissed, even disgraced if you want to know the childish truth of it.I have a side that is not very adult. Call it what you will. We must take care of this side, most of us, because it never grows up. Sometimes when the things we most care about are involved, this side is most present. So it was in this case.
When I saw this person, my first conscious response was dread. I groaned inwardly. But that was a protective response I had learned to project in public. My true response, my inner response, was gratitude and excitement. I was actually happy to see this person. Having been through two weeks of extreme fear, regret and uncertainty, I welcomed the chance to see this person from my past. During the meeting, it is true that I entertained various uncharitable thoughts about this person. But it was as though this childish side of me were fighting its one last battle to maintain its sick ascendancy. I was done with the old feelings. The old resentments lifted.
Afterward, this person sat near me and I was able to say with complete honesty that all that old resentment had lifted. It was gone. And it truly is.

Did I have to get cancer to experience this?

Let's hope not. How can we come to cherish life and get our priorities straight? Sometimes it does take a shock of this kind. Perhaps we can get such shocks in other ways. Perhaps we can engineer our lives so that similar shocks of recognition are not so hard to come by.
It is true that I express my emotions through my body, often through illness. This has been true since I was a child. I resist knowing this and saying this but experience shows it to be true.

So the logical thing to do is to seek out peak experiences that can bring us to such brinks.

Thought Of The Day

Someday when I'm gone, I hope my children will speak well of me.
And towards that end, I always endeavour to behave as an example for them.

There are many ways to measure success;

not the least of which is the way your child describes you when talking to a friend.

Thought for the day

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When you figure out which it is, youll know exactly what to do.

- Michelle Ventor

Friday, December 04, 2009

The tug of war in Life

Life can seem ungrateful ~ and not always kind.
Life can pull at your heartstrings ~ and play with your mind.
Life can be blissful ~ and happy and free.
Life can put beauty ~ in the things that you see.

Life can place challenges ~ right at your feet.
Life can make good ~ of the hardships that we meet.
Life can overwhelm you ~ and make your head spin.
Life can reward those ~ determined to win.

Life can be hurtful ~ and not always fair.
Life can surround you ~ with people who care.
Life clearly does offer ~ its ups and its downs.
Life's days can bring you ~ both smiles and frowns.

Life teaches us to take ~ the good with the bad.
Life is a mixture ~ of happy and sad.
Take the life that you have ~ and give it your best.
Think positive, be happy ~ let God do the rest.
Take the challenges ~ that life has laid at your feet.
Take pride and be thankful ~ for each one you meet.

To yourself give forgiveness ~ if you stumble and fall.
Take each day that is dealt you ~ and give it your all.
Take the love that you're given ~ and return it with care.
Have faith that when needed ~ it will always be there.

Take time to find the beauty ~ in the things that you see.
Take life's simple pleasures ~ let them set your heart free.
The idea here is simply ~ to even the score.
As you are met and faced with ~ Life's Tug Of War.

Find your Life

I will most likely experience a big change in 2010.
It will affect my career.
It will affect my family.
And I know it will be positive.
Ever had the feeling you were lost?
You didn't know where you were heading out to.
You THINK that you want to spend the rest of your life in the current company you're in?
Good for you.


I think George Bernard Shaw eloquently puts it in words.

This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one;
being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)