The Wisdom of Gandhi

One of my all time favourite heroes is Gandhi.
Perhaps one of the few who truly attained Nirvana.

When Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, better known as Gandhi, was studying law at the University College of London, there was a professor, whose last name was Peters, who felt animosity for Gandhi, and because Gandhi never lowered his head towards him, their "arguments" were very common.
One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. 

The professor, in his arrogance, said, "Mr Gandhi: you do not understand... a pig and a bird do not sit together to eat ".

Gandhi replied, "You do not worry professor, I'll fly away ", and he went and sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, green of rage, decided to take revenge on the next test, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions.

Then, Mr. Peters asked him, "Mr Gandhi, if you are walking down the street and find a package, and within it there is a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money; which one will you take?"

Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, "the one with the money, of course".

Mr. Peters, smiling, said, "I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom.

"Each one takes what one doesn't have", responded Gandhi indifferently.

Mr. Peters, already hysteric, wrote on the exam sheet the word "idiot" and gave it to Gandhi.

Gandhii took the exam sheet and sat down. 

A few minutes later, he went goes to the professor and said, "Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi

Movie night

Another gem by W. Bruce Cameron. I love movie time with my kids, it's good bonding and we all appreciate the times spent together.




From time to time my kids and I will have "Movie Night," a bonding experience in which we all get together and argue about what movie we will watch if we ever stop arguing.

Tonight's Movie Night has ended in a compromise: My son will watch his movie in my bedroom, my daughters will watch theirs in the living room, and I will pay for the pizza.

My kids all agree this is fair.

I start off watching with my son. His movie begins with a chase scene involving cars that have the ability to jump over everything in their paths, and as they do, the cars they jump over explode. So many automobiles crash I begin to wonder if maybe this whole film wasn't just a clever way for General Motors to burn off excess inventory. "Are there any people in this movie?" I demand. My son makes a shushing motion—to keep track of what is going on he apparently needs to be able to hear the metal crunching.

I wander into the living room. My daughters are each clutching a box of tissues, as if anticipating that their movie will give them allergies. A young woman is sitting on a park bench. "What did I miss?" I ask.

"The credits," my older daughter murmurs.

"I mean, in the movie."

"Nothing has happened yet."

"What? It's been ten minutes. In your brother's movie they've already managed to dismantle the entire military-industrial complex."

"Would you be quiet?" my younger daughter hisses.

Back to the bedroom. The car chase has given way to a gun battle. Two men, each armed with over seven tons of ammunition hidden in their pockets, are shooting at everything but each other. Stuntmen in paramilitary garb fall like hailstones, glass shatters, and cars, of course, explode. Neither of the shooters seems to have grasped the concept that in order to hit someone you need at least to point your weapon in his general direction.

"Which one is the bad guy?"

"We don't know yet."

In the living room, my daughters are in distress. "She can't decide which one she loves," my younger daughter explains.

"That's silly; why doesn't she just ask her father?" The young woman is sitting on the same bench. "Didn't they have a budget for any other furniture in this movie?"

"She's going to pick the wrong guy," my older daughter pronounces flatly.

"How do you know which one is the wrong guy?" I ask curiously. They both give me pitying expressions. "Wait, let me guess: It will be the one she picks."

They refuse to look at me, so I know I'm right.

In what I suppose passes for an action sequence, the young woman stands up from the bench, then sits back down. My daughters reach for their tissues.

In my son's movie, the two combatants have exhausted the earth's supply of ammunition and are chasing each other over city rooftops. On motorcycles.

"Any sense yet of why these guys want to kill each other?" I ask.

"This is the coolest movie ever," he breathes.

"I thought not." The motorcycles land on the roof of a speeding train, which immediately collides with a gas truck stalled on the tracks. Both motorcycles sail unscorched through the ensuing fireball, exactly as would happen in real life.

My daughters are weeping. "Why didn't he just go to her and tell her he loves her?" my younger daughter laments.

I nod my head in agreement. "After all, it's not like she's hard to find; she's always on that bench."

They give me sour expressions. "Now he's going to go off and join the army," my older daughter informs me, as if it is all my fault.

"Good, maybe he'll wind up in your brother's movie; they need more men over there."

Oddly, both films end the same way, with a man sailing away on a boat. In my daughters' movie, the young woman runs to the dock, waving, but the young soldier doesn't see her, and my daughters sob. In my son's film, the boat is sunk by a surface-to-surface missile, and he cheers.

Best part of movie night: the pizza.

A poem for Malaysians

Saw my friend, Hafiz, having poetic fun at his site
So I'll have mine too!


Father, must I go to work? 
No, my lucky playa
We're living on Easy Street
On subsidy from Putrajaya

We've left it up to BN
So don't get exercised
Nobody has to give a damn
We've all been subsidized

But if BN treats us all so well 
And feeds us milk and honey
Please, daddy, tell me what the hell
They are going to use for money

Don't worry, bub, there's not a hitch
In this here noble plan
They simply soak the filthy rich
And helps the common man

But father, won't there come a time
When they run out of cash
And we have left them not a dime
When things will go to smash?

My faith in you is shrinking, son
You nosy little brat;
You do too damn much thinking, son
To be a BN autocrat.

Letter Humor

Dear Female Twilight fans,
Please  realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.Enjoy  fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

Dear  Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Payback's a bitch!
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I've never  heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." Just saying...
Sincerely,
Google

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear  jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie  Wonder

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every  skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people

Dear Scissors,
I  feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin

Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco....
Sincerely,
United States

Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere

Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Ugly People,
You're  welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

Malaysia memang boleh

Well, if people are dumb enough to vote BN, then everything also can.........like:

 

Have a laugh at these URLs

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com

7. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com

8. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com

9. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com

Strangest lawsuit ever?

I have always tried to keep this website family-friendly without any sexual innuendos or profanities.
But this piece of news was just TOO funny!

"A judge in Stuttgart, Germany, is currently trying to decide on a lawsuit in which a man hired his neighbour to impregnate his wife.
It gets weirder.
Demetrius Soupolos, 29, and his former beauty queen wife, Traute, were very keen to have a child together, but Demetrius was sterile so they began to seek out other possible options.
The option the couple eventually decided on was to hire their neighbour Frank Maus, 34, to impregnate Traute.
Maus, who was already married with two children agreed to do the job for the fee of €2,000. For three evenings a week for the next six months, a total of 72 different times, Maus tried to impregnate Traute.
When his own wife objected, Maus explained that he was "only doing it for the money."
After the unsuccessful six-month period Soupolos insisted that Maus take a medical examination. The doctor concluded that Maus was also sterile, which forced his wife into admitting that their two children did not belong to him.
Soupolos is now suing Maus in an effort to get his money back. Maus' argument is that he did not guarantee conception, only that he would try his hardest."

As usual, we should try to dissect the points logically.
First question.
Hello, there's this thing called a test-tube baby. Ever heard of it?
2nd question.
72 times? SEVENTY TWO times? What kind of person tells another man, "Here she is, let's see you go at it again"?

The killer line,"he would try his hardest".
HAHAHAHAHAHA! I think that's one hell of an adverb to use.
Oh, I bet he was "hardly" trying.