This is great for those just starting out in life.
Excerpts from advice given by Cary Tennis:
You've been through a lot. Progress may feel slow. So how do you cope? You cope by sticking to a long-term plan. It takes time. It takes a lot of time. I don't know why we can't magically transform ourselves into happy, functioning people. It seems like they promise that in TV and movies and books but in real life it takes time.
But it happens. We find ways to sustain ourselves as we proceed. We have big goals and small goals. Our small goal is to get through the day. Some days we just concentrate on that. But as we're getting through the day, we're also trying to apply what we know, avoiding thoughts and behaviors that we know for sure will send us into a tailspin, and looking, where we can, for uplifting and helpful images that will sustain us.
You are building a life. Each piece of your life that works for you is crucial. Pay attention to the parts of your life that are working for you, and build on them.
Building a life is like putting a puzzle together. Each piece that fits adds to the sense of a whole picture. It might seem that you don't have anything close to a picture yet. That's OK. Visualize the puzzle of the life you want. There is indeed an outline to it. There may be only one or two pieces in it right now. But you have some pretty great pieces.
There is the high-intelligence piece. There is your verbal facility piece, your ability to write persuasively and with force. There is the kindness piece, your dedication not to harm others as you have been harmed, which is a wonderful piece.
And there is the piece that is your home. Look for a place of safety there.
Make some tea and sit and look out the window. Find moments of peace and hang on to them. Build on the good things and expand them outward so that they begin to take over and engulf the other things. This is how you heal. It's like watching a wound heal. You see how the good tissue comes in and slowly takes over. While a wound is healing you protect it. So that's what you do in your life. You are wounded in certain areas, so you protect those areas while they heal.
Choose one friend to talk to. Choose carefully. You are wounded in social areas, so you protect those places while they heal.
Because progress can be slow, in order to keep going you need some believable hypothesis that says this is going to get better. And you need some regular, pragmatic proof of that. In addiction recovery, we use the experiences of those around us as evidence of what may happen in our own lives if we do what they are doing.
It takes time. But it works.
You concentrate on the basics and you live one day at a time. You get up. You eat, you take a walk, you make it to your appointment.
That's how we do it. One day at a time. And why do we bother? Because we know that with a little bit of work, life can be pretty good. We also know there's no time to waste. You're 21. Pay attention. Stick around for the miracle.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Why Pakatan Rakyat deserves a term in government
I received this list in my mail.
On first look, it looks great.
Of course, BN has been quick to detract that these measures are "impractical", "impossible", "will bankrupt our country" etc.
Really, BN?
So what the hell is your alternative, BN?
If you're not part of the solution, then BN, you are the PROBLEM!
A problem we must eliminate.
My option is to vote a new government in and see what they can do.
Can they really screw things up in 5 years? Compared to BN which has been messing up for the past 30 years?
If PR messes up, it's SO SIMPLE.
VOTE BN BACK IN.
Is it all that hard?
I will put in the possible benefits of the measures in red.
1. A restructure of institutions including the Elections Commission (EC), the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC), the Attorney-General’s Chambers and the Royal Malaysian Police. During a debate on the policy framework, DAP’s Anthony Loke said PR will bring the MACC under the purview of Parliament.
Reports are that we have a corruption problem costing US, the rakyat, RM TWENTY EIGHT BILLION!
If we can reduce this, say by 10% a year, for the term that PR is in power, we will have an additional RM14 billion of funds to be utilised.
2. A repeal of the Internal Security Act (ISA)
Not really in favor of this until I see the appropriate persons in Kamunting, yeah, all you racially-provocative politicians out there!
Put them in for a year, then PR should repeal the ISA and then we'll see how proper freedom works.
3. Instruct Khazanah Berhad, Employees’ Provident Fund (EPF) and other government bodies to take over highway assets from the concessionaires in order to abolish the toll system.
This is easy.
As a resident of Puchong, I pay RM SIX THOUSAND in toll A YEAR!
I could use that money to give to charity, build a mosque etc.
Let's say the average Malaysian pays about RM1000 a year in toll. That's about RM10 billion worth of the RAKYAT's money saved!
I rest my case.
4. A restructure of the country’s subsidies, to lessen subsidies given to the private sector (such as the RM19 billion in gas subsidies given to independent power producers) and transferring these to subsidies for the man on the street.
A better way to put this would be indirectly bringing down the cost of TNB, hence, with a better margin, I AM SURE we could have LOWER BILLS.
5. Acknowledging the role and sacrifices of civil servants by studying the current pay schemes and increasing the incentives for teachers by RM500 a month
Both my parents were teachers for 30 years. Their role in forming the future of tomorrow's leaders cannot be undermined with low income and incentives.
6. Transferring private water concessions to the government
This is similar to cutting down our electrical bills. If not for the Selangor government's exemption of 20 cubic litres, my bill would jump to more than RM100 a month!
7. Offering free wireless Internet access to those in urban and semi-urban areas
This is so important for our young, the access to info will broaden their minds.
8. Cancelling Felda Plantations and opening up its farms to second- and third generation Felda settlers.
When I did the audit for Felda, I was appalled with the conditions Felda settlers had to contend with.
It's time that Felda lives up to it's promises of upgrading the living standards and earning capabilities.
9. Increasing oil royalty payments to Sabah, Sarawak, Terengganu and Kelantan to 20 per cent from 5 per cent currently.
It's ironic how the most resource-rich states in our country have the poorest citizens in terms of per capita.
This will change when PR keeps it's word.
10. Formation of a Royal Commission to solve the problem of illegal immigrants and citizenship issues in Sabah and Sarawak.
It's not enough that we have an influx of immigrants for labor, we have to give them ICs?
What does that do for the citizens of Sabah and Sarawak?
Are these good enough? Give them a chance?
YES WE WILL!
On first look, it looks great.
Of course, BN has been quick to detract that these measures are "impractical", "impossible", "will bankrupt our country" etc.
Really, BN?
So what the hell is your alternative, BN?
If you're not part of the solution, then BN, you are the PROBLEM!
A problem we must eliminate.
My option is to vote a new government in and see what they can do.
Can they really screw things up in 5 years? Compared to BN which has been messing up for the past 30 years?
If PR messes up, it's SO SIMPLE.
VOTE BN BACK IN.
Is it all that hard?
I will put in the possible benefits of the measures in red.
1. A restructure of institutions including the Elections Commission (EC), the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC), the Attorney-General’s Chambers and the Royal Malaysian Police. During a debate on the policy framework, DAP’s Anthony Loke said PR will bring the MACC under the purview of Parliament.
Reports are that we have a corruption problem costing US, the rakyat, RM TWENTY EIGHT BILLION!
If we can reduce this, say by 10% a year, for the term that PR is in power, we will have an additional RM14 billion of funds to be utilised.
2. A repeal of the Internal Security Act (ISA)
Not really in favor of this until I see the appropriate persons in Kamunting, yeah, all you racially-provocative politicians out there!
Put them in for a year, then PR should repeal the ISA and then we'll see how proper freedom works.
3. Instruct Khazanah Berhad, Employees’ Provident Fund (EPF) and other government bodies to take over highway assets from the concessionaires in order to abolish the toll system.
This is easy.
As a resident of Puchong, I pay RM SIX THOUSAND in toll A YEAR!
I could use that money to give to charity, build a mosque etc.
Let's say the average Malaysian pays about RM1000 a year in toll. That's about RM10 billion worth of the RAKYAT's money saved!
I rest my case.
4. A restructure of the country’s subsidies, to lessen subsidies given to the private sector (such as the RM19 billion in gas subsidies given to independent power producers) and transferring these to subsidies for the man on the street.
A better way to put this would be indirectly bringing down the cost of TNB, hence, with a better margin, I AM SURE we could have LOWER BILLS.
5. Acknowledging the role and sacrifices of civil servants by studying the current pay schemes and increasing the incentives for teachers by RM500 a month
Both my parents were teachers for 30 years. Their role in forming the future of tomorrow's leaders cannot be undermined with low income and incentives.
6. Transferring private water concessions to the government
This is similar to cutting down our electrical bills. If not for the Selangor government's exemption of 20 cubic litres, my bill would jump to more than RM100 a month!
7. Offering free wireless Internet access to those in urban and semi-urban areas
This is so important for our young, the access to info will broaden their minds.
8. Cancelling Felda Plantations and opening up its farms to second- and third generation Felda settlers.
When I did the audit for Felda, I was appalled with the conditions Felda settlers had to contend with.
It's time that Felda lives up to it's promises of upgrading the living standards and earning capabilities.
9. Increasing oil royalty payments to Sabah, Sarawak, Terengganu and Kelantan to 20 per cent from 5 per cent currently.
It's ironic how the most resource-rich states in our country have the poorest citizens in terms of per capita.
This will change when PR keeps it's word.
10. Formation of a Royal Commission to solve the problem of illegal immigrants and citizenship issues in Sabah and Sarawak.
It's not enough that we have an influx of immigrants for labor, we have to give them ICs?
What does that do for the citizens of Sabah and Sarawak?
Are these good enough? Give them a chance?
YES WE WILL!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
What are you doing with your life?
Here’s a question that was posed to the Dalai Lama:
“What thing about humanity surprises you the most?”
His answer was as follows:
“Man”
Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health!
And then he is so anxious about the future that he doesn’t enjoy the present,
And as a result he doesn’t live in the present or the future!
And he lives as if he’s never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived!
“What thing about humanity surprises you the most?”
His answer was as follows:
“Man”
Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health!
And then he is so anxious about the future that he doesn’t enjoy the present,
And as a result he doesn’t live in the present or the future!
And he lives as if he’s never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Thought for the day
As I face up to every day's schedule of balancing 3 companies, 3 kids and god knows what else might happen that day, it's a herculean effort just to stay on top of things.
Then I remember this quote from Freud:
One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.
Sigmund Freud
Then I remember this quote from Freud:
One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.
Sigmund Freud
Monday, January 17, 2011
Quote for the Day
Seems there's a lot of hatred being spewed out there in the country.
Most important is to keep in mind this quote from Gandhi,
"First, they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you,
THEN YOU WIN!"
Most important is to keep in mind this quote from Gandhi,
"First, they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you,
THEN YOU WIN!"
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Have a good think about it
Think it over....
1. When the snake is alive, it eats ants.
When the snake is injured or dead, ants eat snake.
Time changes, therefore situations can turn upside down at any time.
Don't neglect anyone in your life............unless they neglect you in the first place.
2. Never make the same mistake twice.
There are so many new ones.
Try something a little different each day.
Hopefully, not all your endeavors turn out to be too many mistakes.
3. A good way to change someone's attitude is to change your own,
because,
the same sun that melts butter, also hardens clay!
4. Life is just like a sea, we are moving without an end.
Nothing stays with us.
What remains is just the memories of some people who touched us as waves.
5. Whenever you want to know how rich you are never count your currency.
Just try to Drop a Tear and count how many hands reach out to WIPE that--
Now THAT IS TRUE RICHNESS.
6. Heart said to the eyes, "See less, because you see and I suffer a lot."
Eyes replied, "Feel less because you feel and I cry a lot."
7. Never change your originality for the sake of others, because no one can play your role better than you.
So be yourself, because whatever you are,
YOU ARE THE BEST.
1. When the snake is alive, it eats ants.
When the snake is injured or dead, ants eat snake.
Time changes, therefore situations can turn upside down at any time.
Don't neglect anyone in your life............unless they neglect you in the first place.
2. Never make the same mistake twice.
There are so many new ones.
Try something a little different each day.
Hopefully, not all your endeavors turn out to be too many mistakes.
3. A good way to change someone's attitude is to change your own,
because,
the same sun that melts butter, also hardens clay!
4. Life is just like a sea, we are moving without an end.
Nothing stays with us.
What remains is just the memories of some people who touched us as waves.
5. Whenever you want to know how rich you are never count your currency.
Just try to Drop a Tear and count how many hands reach out to WIPE that--
Now THAT IS TRUE RICHNESS.
6. Heart said to the eyes, "See less, because you see and I suffer a lot."
Eyes replied, "Feel less because you feel and I cry a lot."
7. Never change your originality for the sake of others, because no one can play your role better than you.
So be yourself, because whatever you are,
YOU ARE THE BEST.
Friday, January 07, 2011
An open letter to all Malaysians: Enough of lies and promises
I am a tired Malaysian.
I'm tired of all the lies.
I am tired of being bombarded by messages meant to confuse, misguide and lead me where the government wants us to go.
Here's the truth.
No one party has all the answers.
Not Barisan Nasional,
not Pakatan Rakyat,
not MCLM, Third Force or whatever they choose to call themselves, or even barbers and taxi drivers.
You see us as cows and you the cow herders call us, not by name,
you definitely don't know our names.
But by demographics, group, age, economic status and worst of all, race.
You take aim at the vulnerable.
You tell the elderly that the other party will steal your security, but make them stand in
lines at the public hospitals.
The elderly cry "my pension" and you promise, "We'll fix it."
The only thing you need to fix are the broken promises you've all made before.
You create fear-filled television messages, with ominous looking images of angry people picked by you because they have no jobs, while you recite facts twisted to fit your view.
In truth they are snippets of reality, incomplete sound bites and images of your opponent looking their worst.
You wave flags and gather your family for a portrait, shake hands with our military,
nod your head in agreement with union leaders,
stand near an Orang Asli whose very livelihood is being plowed under by over-regulation and huge corporate control and we become numb to the relentless pounding of the distant drums of doom.
The past 30 years has been called the "dumbing down of Malaysia."
You talk about securing our borders and strengthening our defence with pointless purchases of war machines.
All of this while you fight on the floor of Parliament, in the halls of the state assemblies and the corrupt chambers of local government over nothing more than the betterment,
not of the people you serve,
but your party's agenda and control.
No one individual can solve all of Malaysia's problems.
Not the Prime Minister of Malaysia.
Not Anwar Ibrahim.
And not political celebrities or on air personalities.
We all must work together or together we continue failing as a nation.
Malaysia was established as "We the Rakyat."
That means that WE control this country.
That is, my friends, a huge responsibility.
It should not be taken lightly.
How do we do it?
By vote.
That vote is the most powerful weapon on earth and it is placed in the hands of every adult.
It can be used as a weapon to destroy or a tool to build up.
Don't vote against something, vote for what you know to be the truth.
Vote for someone who will SERVE YOU and your area, not someone who expects to be served.
I can see that there are still a few good Wakil Rakyat, even on both sides of the great divide.
The difference is, a vote is like using a Senapang Gajah to shoot at a small animal.
When you try to single out one thing you hit it all, taking down the good with the bad.
Before you vote, research, read, talk it over with friends, family, check the facts, recheck the facts and yes, pray.
We can still pray in Malaysia, whatever your religion is.
Voting demands participation.
Being a Malaysian is more than holding a blue IC as proof.
If you are above 21, register as a voter and find out about the candidates.
It is holding on when things get tough, holding out when others give in, and holding to this simple truth, that "All humans are created equal by God", even when some people claim their religion is better than others.
When you CROSS that box, you are declaring, "I've done my job. I've taken responsibility,
I've made an educated decision based on my own research,
I've voiced my opinion and I declare myself one of the proud members of "We the Rakyat of Malaysia".
Don't be led by the cow herders any more.
Vote smart for the good of all, not for the betterment of a few.
Happy New Year to all Malaysians, regardless of your background.
I'm tired of all the lies.
I am tired of being bombarded by messages meant to confuse, misguide and lead me where the government wants us to go.
Here's the truth.
No one party has all the answers.
Not Barisan Nasional,
not Pakatan Rakyat,
not MCLM, Third Force or whatever they choose to call themselves, or even barbers and taxi drivers.
You see us as cows and you the cow herders call us, not by name,
you definitely don't know our names.
But by demographics, group, age, economic status and worst of all, race.
You take aim at the vulnerable.
You tell the elderly that the other party will steal your security, but make them stand in
lines at the public hospitals.
The elderly cry "my pension" and you promise, "We'll fix it."
The only thing you need to fix are the broken promises you've all made before.
You create fear-filled television messages, with ominous looking images of angry people picked by you because they have no jobs, while you recite facts twisted to fit your view.
In truth they are snippets of reality, incomplete sound bites and images of your opponent looking their worst.
You wave flags and gather your family for a portrait, shake hands with our military,
nod your head in agreement with union leaders,
stand near an Orang Asli whose very livelihood is being plowed under by over-regulation and huge corporate control and we become numb to the relentless pounding of the distant drums of doom.
The past 30 years has been called the "dumbing down of Malaysia."
You talk about securing our borders and strengthening our defence with pointless purchases of war machines.
All of this while you fight on the floor of Parliament, in the halls of the state assemblies and the corrupt chambers of local government over nothing more than the betterment,
not of the people you serve,
but your party's agenda and control.
No one individual can solve all of Malaysia's problems.
Not the Prime Minister of Malaysia.
Not Anwar Ibrahim.
And not political celebrities or on air personalities.
We all must work together or together we continue failing as a nation.
Malaysia was established as "We the Rakyat."
That means that WE control this country.
That is, my friends, a huge responsibility.
It should not be taken lightly.
How do we do it?
By vote.
That vote is the most powerful weapon on earth and it is placed in the hands of every adult.
It can be used as a weapon to destroy or a tool to build up.
Don't vote against something, vote for what you know to be the truth.
Vote for someone who will SERVE YOU and your area, not someone who expects to be served.
I can see that there are still a few good Wakil Rakyat, even on both sides of the great divide.
The difference is, a vote is like using a Senapang Gajah to shoot at a small animal.
When you try to single out one thing you hit it all, taking down the good with the bad.
Before you vote, research, read, talk it over with friends, family, check the facts, recheck the facts and yes, pray.
We can still pray in Malaysia, whatever your religion is.
Voting demands participation.
Being a Malaysian is more than holding a blue IC as proof.
If you are above 21, register as a voter and find out about the candidates.
It is holding on when things get tough, holding out when others give in, and holding to this simple truth, that "All humans are created equal by God", even when some people claim their religion is better than others.
When you CROSS that box, you are declaring, "I've done my job. I've taken responsibility,
I've made an educated decision based on my own research,
I've voiced my opinion and I declare myself one of the proud members of "We the Rakyat of Malaysia".
Don't be led by the cow herders any more.
Vote smart for the good of all, not for the betterment of a few.
Happy New Year to all Malaysians, regardless of your background.
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Parent vs child
I'm not so sure about elsewhere, but in Malaysia, I see increasing cases of parents treating their kids like demi-gods.
They grow up not knowing how to wash their own clothes, set the table for meals, do the dishes and most household chores, even simple ones like sweeping and mopping.
As my 2 boys are in their school-going years, it's time to educate them that life is more than just doing well in studies.
It's going to be how you are able to take care of yourself.
The next 2 poems are brilliant to illustrate this.
Have a good read.
From the son
My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place.
'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Mike?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'
It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.
And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mum did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!
Dad, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known As 'C.S.D.'
Dad's Reply and Thoughts
Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.
Next day I took him shopping
At the local Reject Store..
I told him, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.
I've called and checked with C.S.D .
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you Fung Keong shoes
Instead of Nike Airs.
I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S..D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best.'
I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own flaming lunch.
Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time..
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.'
He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. Requires
Just a roof over your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!
Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?'
They grow up not knowing how to wash their own clothes, set the table for meals, do the dishes and most household chores, even simple ones like sweeping and mopping.
As my 2 boys are in their school-going years, it's time to educate them that life is more than just doing well in studies.
It's going to be how you are able to take care of yourself.
The next 2 poems are brilliant to illustrate this.
Have a good read.
From the son
My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place.
'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Mike?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'
It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.
And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mum did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!
Dad, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known As 'C.S.D.'
Dad's Reply and Thoughts
Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.
Next day I took him shopping
At the local Reject Store..
I told him, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.
I've called and checked with C.S.D .
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you Fung Keong shoes
Instead of Nike Airs.
I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S..D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best.'
I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own flaming lunch.
Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time..
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.'
He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. Requires
Just a roof over your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!
Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?'
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