Hacks to finish the year strong

 Ten great hacks 

1. When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. That way when you receive spam/advert email, you will know who sold your information.
2. If you're on a first date and aren't connecting with the other person or feel they're dull, ask them what job they'd choose if money wasn't an issue. It initiates a talk about one's passions, which are rarely dull and are simple to connect.
3. If you want to be an effective communicators, let others talking about themselves and their interests
4. Do not try to be the man your father would want you to be. Be the man you would like your son to be be. It more clearly defines your own convictions, desires, goals, and motivates you to be your best.
5. Pay Attention to the smell of your home when you come back from a trip - that's what it smells like to guests all the time, you just get used to it.
6. When a friend is upset, ask them one simple question before saying anything else: 'Do you want to talk about it or do you want to be distracted from it?'
7. No matter how much your workplace pushes "team building" and "family culture" - remember, they're not your friends and it's still a workplace.
8. If you’re stuck on an annoying call, put your phone on airplane mode instead of just hanging up. The other person will see “call failed” instead of “call ended”.
9. If you want to learn a new language, figure out the 100 most frequently used words and start with them. Those words make up about 50% of everyday speech, and should be a very solid basis.

To people who walked out and it's amazing

 Stop holding onto people, just because you have a history together.

Accept people as they are, but place them where they belong.

The day you let go of the people you've been pointlessly holding onto, is the day your life gets a whole lot better.

Sometimes growth requires new company, new friends and new mindsets.

Some disconnections will bless your life.

Sometimes you block your own blessings, by telling everyone your business.

A lot of people become unattractive, once you find out how they think.

Most people will show you who they really are by mistake. 

Pay close attention

Your greatest test will be how you handle people who mishandle you

Live instead in a world of yes-anyway

 You don't have to remove all of your flaws and insecurities in order to succeed. You just have to accept them and move forward anyway.

   
I had major doubts about my writing talent and worthiness. I was hyper self-conscious about my shortness and big nose. Yet despite feeling like not enough, I still made steps toward my dreams. Even though they were timid, self-doubting steps.

     
So the message I want to share is: A lot of people live in a world of if-then.

  
Such as:

  
If I can fix this problem, then I can pursue my dream.

  
Or

  
If I can get this certain amount of money, then I can do this thing I've always wanted to.

  
What I want to tell you today is: Don't wait.

    
Live instead in a world of yes-anyway.

  
Yes I have this problem right now, and I will pursue my dream anyway.

  
Yes, I only have this much money, but I'm going to find a way to do this thing I've always wanted to do anyway.

  
Of course, we can simultaneously work on our inner issues and our financial issues as we move forward in life.

  
But  there are so many people who exist in a constant state of if-then. And as soon as they deal with one if, another if  presents itself. And consequently they never get to pursue their passion, their dream, their life wish list.  

   
So, if there’s somewhere in your life where you’re doubting yourself, I hope today’s story helps you remember…  

  
That’s totally normal. Even to be expected. And you may never feel 100% ready or certain.  

  
Whatever the “next step” is for you right now, you’re probably far more ready for it than you realize.  

  
And in many years, after moving forward with your dreams anyway, I hope you’ll look back on where you are today and have the same feeling of awe and gratitude for how far you’ve come.   

   
Because there's nothing better than working on your outer life and your inner life simultaneously...

  
...until one day they meet in the middle at a beautiful place called congruence.

  
Yes you're imperfect, but heck, do it anyway

Become fearless

“Sounds awesome. But how do I do that?”

Simple—here are your instructions:

• Pack your bag.
• Fly to South East Asia.
• Stay there until you run out of money.
• Run out of money.
• Get a job or find a way to make a tiny amount of money.
• Live on the bare minimum—eat only rice, live in a shitty house.
• Realise you can fend for yourself and that you don’t actually need a lot to survive in this world.

All of this is about experiencing your worst case scenario.

Doing this will give you the freedom and the confidence to try anything—because you know you’ll be okay.

Whatever happens, even if you lose everything, you know you can fend for yourself and survive.

This is what Elon Musk did in his early days.

He wanted to move to America but was scared about not getting a job—yes, Elon Musk was scared about not getting a job.

So, he decided to live on $1 a day. He ate nothing but oranges, hotdogs and pasta.

He figured it’s pretty easy to find $30 a month so he’d probably be okay.

That gave him the confidence to move.

He practiced poverty.

Voluntary poverty can liberate you.

You can pursue anything you want to do in life without fear—because you’ve already experienced your worst case scenario.

Go and become fearless!

What exactly is an optimist?

  According to the dictionary:

1. a person who tends to be hopeful and confident about the future or the success of something.

"only an eternal optimist could expect success"

2. a person who believes that this world is the best of all possible worlds or that good must ultimately prevail over evil.

Being an optimist doesn't mean you can't have frustrating moments or feel down sometimes.  

What it does mean is that you can see past the doom and gloom with the expectation of brighter moments and days ahead

Career lessons

 Career lessons

1. Slow down big decisions, speed up the rest. I’m not the first to say this, but boy it’s correct.
2. Wait and find a truly great co-founder. I’ve done so, so much better when I had a great co-founder. But when I’ve had one that wasn’t as committed … that led to mediocre outcomes. At best. And a lot of pain. No matter how smart they were.
3. Make your first customers wildly successful. They teach you how to make the next 10, 50, 100 wildly successful, too. Your first customers are your future. You will get more just like them.
4. Power laws are real. If your startup is worth $20m today, it can be worth $100m in a few years, and maybe, $1000m a few years after that. Value, brands and revenue compound.
5. Don’t worry as much about the competition. They can maim you, but they rarely can kill you. Especially if you are growing at even a half-decent rate.
6. Go all-in. If you don’t commit 100%, you’ll never maximize the success.
7. A great team is a family. Few things are more special than having a great team at a start-up. Family members will leave and go on to other great thiings. But you’ll be a family for decades.
8. Being on the journey makes you relevant. If you sell your startup, you’ll see that no matter how much money you make, you start to feel … less relevant afterwards. Not everyone, but most of us as founders. A great journey gives you purpose and relevance.
9. 90% transparency is about right. You can’t share every single issue, every drama. That’s too much. But about 90% transparency is good. The team can take it, and will appreciate it. Don’t share everything. But hide less.
10. Time is the ally of the committed. If you are willing to work not just harder, but for longer than the rest — you probably won’t fail. You won’t let the tough times, that terrible year, kill you. You’ll push on. And you’ll stay in the game long enough for those power laws to finally kick in.

#LifeTruths

 #LifeTruths

1. Life is nothing but earning people and losing them at different stages.
2. Give. But don’t allow yourself to be used. Love. But don’t allow your heart to be used. Listen. But don’t lose your own voice.
3. When you fully trust someone without any doubt, you finally get one of two results: A person for life or A lesson for life.
4. Without communication, there is no relationship. Without respect, there is no love. Without trust, there is no reason to continue.
5. If your absence doesn’t bother them then your presence never mattered to them in the first place.
6. The funny thing is when you start feeling happy alone, that’s when everyone decides to be with you.
7. Being unique is better than being perfect.
8. High standards protect you from low quality experiences.
9. If someone isn’t as excited to talk to you as you are, then just stop talking to that person.

Life changing mindset

 No matter who you are, you probably know in your heart that you should have a better life than the one you are living.

Maybe you are stuck in a dead end job you hate, struggle with an illness or addiction you never asked for, or in a relationship with someone who doesn’t truly appreciate you.

You might even truly believe that maybe you deserve these things, that you somehow brought these on yourself, or that being happy or healthy “just isn’t meant for me.”

But if you look carefully…in that pain or sadness, there is something inside you that knows better…that is frustrated. It fuels some of that pain.

This isn’t how life is supposed to be for you, and you know it.

You know that you don’t deserve to be stuck in some dead end job, you know that whatever illness you might struggle with *has* to have a way to be better managed than this, or that you are a *quality* person with a big heart who deserves to be treated with respect…and maybe even adored.

The mindset that can change your life? Possibility.

It has changed my life too. I went from a girl living on a farm, with no one in my family even having a college education - to being the go-to consultant for some of the most well-known people in business, entertainment, and sports.

What is “possible” for you? What if you allowed yourself to believe?

To do this is a massive risk.

People will laugh at you, they’ll question you, and they’ll wonder “who you think you are.”

It doesn’t have to be a massive leap to start. It can be starting to question the basics.

• Is it “possible” to have a better job than the one you have today? Get your resume together and start applying for one step up in your career.
• Is it “possible” to feel better than you do right now if you have been struggling with your health or mental health? Look for a specialist and get a second opinion.
• Is it “possible” for your relationship to improve, for you both to take the initiative to work on things, or even for you to leave if you are being mistreated? Form a plan.

There is possibility for everyone. I truly believe that. And if you are sitting somewhere in your home right now, just know that I believe that for you too. I know it’s true.

Possibility doesn’t mean everyone needs to be driving a Ferrari…it means that everyone can be closer to what they want for themselves.

For some, it may be that Ferrari…but you know, for many people, it just might be feeling loved for once in their life.

There is possibility in me, and there is possibility in you.

And that mindset has changed my life.

On the road again

 Starting a new role tomorrow.

Let's implement this.

1_SHARED VALUES Three years ago, at the start of this journey, we revisited their values with the aim of bringing it to life in the business. These values had to encapsulate who they are. His staff members had to buy into it. It had to drive all behaviours in the store. Finally, it had to deliver the service their customers deserve. Accountability on all levels was one of the five important values they agreed upon for this business. It was the guiding star all members will ‘follow” to take them where they wanted to go. Accountability is defined as the obligation of an individual or organisation to account for its activities, accept responsibility for them, and to disclose the results in a transparent manner. For this (or any of your 'values') to have an impact we need to follow an integrated approach to implementation, otherwise this is another value on a poster in the staff room that means nothing. Otherwise, 'shared values' is mere Kumbayah... How do you establish a set of values that people buy into in such a way that it actually positively impacts the business?

2_STRATEGY Staff members need to know where they are going! If they don't know where they are going, they won't go along for the ride. (For example a vision could be to have 20 STORES BY 2020.)  This can be called the vision or mission - don't get caught up in the semantics. If you communicate and get buy–in from your staff members then you are okay.  When the going gets tough, don't change your mission: If you have worked this through, you have agreed it with your team and you have committed resources to this strategy -  just keep going with your eyes focussed on your NORTH STAR.  What you need to change and review are the actions and plans to achieve this. The Litmus Test: Can I ask your casual on a Sunday where your business is going? Build some triggers into your strategic plan that mandates change. Even if it is only apparently 'change for the sake of change', because the alternative is worse; the alternative is atrophy.

3_STRUCTURE People struggle if they do not know what is expected from them in their roles. You can't simply throw in a job description in and believe it will clear their confusion up. If your structure is effective, then truly accountable team members WILL: 1. Identify gaps This young man developed a new product offering. He presented it as one of the plans for the following year. The feedback from the owner was not: “Good idea BUT we need to look at this and that”. His first question was: “What will be the impact of this new product offering on the customer service experience and is this what they are looking for?”   Just for fun; this is how you reward someone >> Give that man a Bells 2. Learn new roles and processes and ultimately build a more capable team This young man has a few more ideas for his department for the next year, but he needs a capable team to support him. He needs to take them on this journey with him. Does your structure drive/support your strategy? Does your structure support your staff to take responsibility for targets and outcomes? You can adapt the structure to assist you to achieve your outcomes. If you change the structure, roles and responsibilities also change. Communicate WHY you do this; this is essential. The approach should not be that 'the job role requires them to do that, so they know they must do that'.

4_SKILLS Many skills (technical skills, soft skills etc) are required, but one important skill in fostering this culture of accountability is the ability to provide fearless feedback. If your goal is to foster accountability then it is not about punishing the leader and his team if they do not meet targets. This will encourage staff members to take calculated risks and to innovate. Fearless feedback = S B I  Situation: When giving feedback to your staff member, it is critical to provide a clear, simple, accurate description of the situation where the recipient of the feedback was involved. Key points to provide are: Time and place Who was present Context of situation Behaviour: It is critical to provide the staff member with a simple, clear description of the behaviour that you observed. Key points to provide are: What exactly did the person “say or do. “(You cannot always be on the floor, teach this technique to all your staff members.) Keep this simple and accurate – without judgment What did the person say? What body language did the person display? Impact: It is important to provide a simple honest statement of the impact. Avoid sentimentalism or intense emotion. Feedback coached in those terms only puts the listener in a defensive mode and the opportunity for good communication is lost. Key points to provide are: How did the action taken make you feel? From your perspective, how did the person’s behaviour impact other individuals? What impact did this have on the communication process?  On working at the task at hand? Do you staff members seek feedback from you regularly? You need to “unlearn” the 'sandwich' approach to feedback . Slice of Bread = you are a valuable employee Slice of Meat = but this is how you can improve Slice of Bread = but keep up the good work.

5_STAFF The usual mantra when recruiting is to “Recruit for Attitude”. BUT. Then you keep all the control with rules, policies and job descriptions. Give freedom to allow them to come up with different solutions, in order for staff to display the correct attitude when they interact with your customers.  Support and lead by example are the key factors. Your staff will grow in confidence and take ownership of their targets and the reasons for targets being met or not. You can only implement this strategy with good staff and if you know stuff that will get your staff to want to be accountable. In this case 'stuff' is not only retail metrics or data; It is information about each team member, what they like, why they work there and what they need out of the relationship. Do you REALLY know what drives your staff member’s behaviours? Emotional Intelligence means you recognise why some staff members want to receive accolades in front of the team, whilst others love it. Remember (from above) that you need to know stuff to get staff members to copy your behaviour.

6_SYSTEMS This business measures everything. That was really refreshing because most SME retailers we worked with, do have a POS and that is about it. He knew exactly to the last dollar on the last day of the year what he needed to do to make it happen. And that he will have to give feedback about his department’s contribution to overall SALES and GP. "If you can't measure it, you can't improve it.” Here is the thing though: Does your staff know why you measure it. If they do not why then they will not take full responsibility for it.  (This why is not to make only money.) He came in on his day off and worked the entire day. So that he and his team can make target for the month, but it was only possible if EVERY element of the above were in place to make it happen.   If you know the WHY then the HOW is easy.

7_STYLE He came in on his day off. This is a reflection of how you lead, how you coach and how you inspire your staff members. However, this owner must have done something right to get this staff member to do what he wanted him to do. He had laid down the foundation (Shared Values, Strategy, Structure, Skills, Staff, Systems) that would enable him to lead them to places where they have never been before. I think STYLE is one of the most underrated and misunderstood variables in management. Know thyself - really know thyself. Knowledge opens opportunities. It tells you how to structure your management group It plays in integral part in your recruitment strategy Peter Drucker (Management Guru) says about Know Thyself: “It tells you how to structure your relationships, this is the kind of results you should expect from me. And in this time frame, because this is who I am”. Does your team know who you are? And are they fine with it?.  It is not easy to admit who you are, and it is the same for your staff members. Working in an environment where there is acceptance and authenticity is not about warm and fuzzy, it is about dollars and cents.

Why I say I'm Buddhist

Buddhism is more than a religion – it’s a lifestyle.

 

You can pretty much sum the religion up like this:

 

1. Live a moral life.

2. Be mindful and aware of your thoughts and actions.

3. Develop wisdom and understanding.

 

It’s the only religion that focuses on a deep understanding of the human mind, as most Buddhist teachings are there to help “liberate” you from the perils and suffering caused by the mind…

 

 

Lesson #1:

 

The mind is everything.  What we think, we become.

 

This is self explanatory. Your beliefs control your thoughts which control your actions which control your life.

 

Lesson #2

 

You deserve your love and affection.

 

Positive self talk, and self love.

 

It’s about muting that inner critic, and becoming your number one supporter and fan.

 

It’s about killing those confidence issues and feelings of “I’m not ____ enough”

 

If you don’t love yourself, don’t expect anyone else to love you either…

Lesson #3

 

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate on the present moment. There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth --- not going all the way, and not starting.

 

Mindfulness, and being present is extremely important for your happiness, and the quality of the work you do, and the life you live.

Lesson #4

 

However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good is it if you do not act upon them?

 

Ideas, without execution, are useless.

 

Whatever it is you’re focused on, just start.

Lesson #5

 

To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control ones own mind

 

Everything you do and everything you are stems from the belief systems deep in your mind.

 

Control these, rewrite the narrative, and you change your life foreve

Giving, and taking advice

 Most people think they take recommendations, but this isn’t true. They take advice only when hearing things they already agree with or that make sense to them or that don't require any major changes--and that's only if they remember the actual suggestions.

Here’s the problem with that way of operating: If you are seeking advice, then clearly there is something you need help with in your life.

And if you're only acting on what “makes sense” or "is easy" or "sounds right" to you, then you're not actually going to get out of the hole you're in. You’ve been doing what "makes sense" all along on some level.

I've found this to be especially true when it comes to human behaviour: What "makes sense" and "is logical" is not always what's actually effective.

Or, on a personal level, to paraphrase The Truth: We're too close to ourselves to see clearly enough to get out of our own way.

It is the ideas that don’t make sense, the ideas that you resist, the ideas that seem stupid, the ideas that you mentally write-off, and especially the ideas that you form logical arguments against that will lead to your biggest breakthroughs.

As the saying goes: What got you here won’t get you there.

Of course, some of the suggestions and advice that you receive are going to lead to dead ends or not work for you. But there’s no harm in trying them if they don’t hurt you or anybody else.

Even the advice that leads you to a dead end will help you grow.

Why? Because now you know what doesn’t work. And often, along that path, you’ll find another trail to follow.

That said, there’s a simple thing you can do to greatly increase the odds of outside advice working for you: Take it from someone who’s successful in that area.

Chances are very high that you know someone who’s at least a little more knowledgeable than you in an area where you need help--or you can find a way to connect with an expert online or in person at an event of theirs.

Some of my closest friends, who’ve gone on to become very successful, I actually met through cold emails they sent or through Society events.

NOW LET'S GO ONE LEVEL DEEPER

There’s another key to this: It’s not about just asking for advice. Many people do that. The key is in how you receive the advice.

Here are a few things not to do when someone is trying to help you with good advice or a recommendation.

Don't:

1. Respond with a sentence that begins with the word “But...”

2. Give them more information or detail than they need.

3. Talk more than they're talking.

4. Feel like they don’t understand or that your circumstances are unique.

5. Ask for advice when you're actually seeking empathy. (And don't seek empathy when what you actually need is help.)

6. Feel like you’re wasting their time.

7. Cherry-pick the parts of the advice you like and disregard the big picture.

8. Interrupt them.

9. Get upset because you feel criticized, frustrated, condescended to, or triggered in any way.

10. Guide them into saying exactly what you want to hear by being unreceptive to everything else.

11. Totally agree, then walk away and decide the advice isn’t right for you after all.

12. Totally agree, then walk away, only remember the parts you agreed with, and keep doing the same thing you’ve always done while thinking you’re actually following the advice.

13. Totally agree, but fail to implement the advice, then lie to them and pretend like you did it because you don't want to disappoint them.

Let's calls this The Stuck Cycle.

Here’s what will happen if you live here: People will give up on you. They will lose respect for you. They will stop giving you advice or even empathy. Your friends may even cut you off.

So instead, here are ten things to do when receiving advice, in order.

Do:

1. State your question or problem clearly.

2. Answer follow-up questions directly and honestly. 

3. Listen. 

4. Accept. 

5. Take notes. 

6. Ask for clarification when you don’t understand. 

7. Repeat your main takeaways afterward to make sure you understood correctly.

8. Ask if there’s anything else you need to know or do.

9. Do it.

10. Share your results with them, both the successes and challenges, then repeat these steps from the top.

Let’s call this The Learning Cycle. 

It’s an easy formula to read. But it is challenging to do.

It's challenging because we often don't listen well, with our filters off. But more so, it's difficult to break entrenched habits, both of behaviour and of thinking.

There’s a reason why a big positive change is called a breakthrough: you have to break through your resistance, habits, and fears to get there.

But it's worth it: If you have an issue and you go through the learning cycle just a few times on an issue, then it will likely no longer be an issue.  

No matter who you are, chances are that there are people in your life (or whose emails you're reading!) who are telling you exactly what you need.

They know the solution--or at least a solution. They can see it where you can’t. Some of them have been telling it to you over and over. Others have given up on you.

Show them that you're ready to really understand and implement the advice that you haven’t been hearing. 

That you're ready to enter the learning cycle and have the breakthroughs!

Lessons from the corporate world

1. Don’t challenge your superior or your immediate boss publicly. Avoid arguments with your immediate boss, and give them room to look like they’ve won the arguments.
2. Always keep time, and mostly, report to work earlier than everybody else, and leave later than everybody else.
3. Always be friendly with your fellow staff, big or small, and be in good terms with your immediate boss and other senior staff.
4. Honesty is the key in the corporate world. In the corporate world, they regard honesty more than education or technical skills.
5. Demonstrate leadership qualities by showing that you can accept responsibilities, lead by example, and mostly, work with minimal or no supervision.
6. Acquire cutting-edge skills, specifically for the job you do, but mostly, understand the business like the back of your hand. This will make you indispensable.
7. Work smart, and always finish your assignments earlier. If you find yourself with no work to do, promptly ask your immediate boss what you can do, or at least report to your boss about what you’re working on.
8. Even if you have a point to make, don’t make your immediate boss lose face in front of other staff. Discuss any ingenious ideas with your boss so that the ideas appear to come from your boss—not you.
9. The corporate world is like the military. Obeying orders without asking too many questions attracts higher respect than being smart.
10. Even if you come up with ingenious ideas, stage it such that the credit goes to your immediate boss—not you.
11. Avoid asking for a salary raise. Let the initiative come from your boss.
12. Play teamwork, and even if you conceive a creative idea, always give credit to the team.
13. Always ask smart questions, which will not entangle your boss. Offer tangible solutions instead of criticism.
14. Don’t be rude to your work colleagues, and especially to your immediate boss.
15. Corporate meetings are just an excuse to break from the routine, and escape the work stress or discuss crises. Don’t criticize them or avoid them. Instead, just go along with them, and try to be as creative as possible. Always weigh your points before you say anything.
16. Be smart. Don’t be overly ambitious, but maintain a low profile. Don’t brag or be a loudmouth, especially when you’ve won a corporate battle of sorts.
17. Commit to lifelong understanding of the business, and especially the customers. Increase your knowledge by listening to the external world and reading books.
18. Aim more, for a salary raise than for a promotion, for a promotion without a salary raise is meaningless—unless you want to change jobs. When you do it, make sure you have something to show to your boss, like how you’ve been able to bring in more value by your initiatives, for example.
19. Life is very unpredictable in the corporate world. Always live in the corporate world as though you’ll lose your job the next day. Live on the edge, but don’t discuss it with your friends or colleagues.