Friday, June 05, 2015

Leading up to the 14th football finals of GE Cup

Warning: Football parody.
Probably footie fans will be able to understand.
Image result for lopsided football field
Picture this:
It's a lopsided football match, held every 5 years, watched by 30 million spectators.
But only 13 million can cheer as you are only allowed to cheer when you reach 21 years of age.
On one end, you have the BeeNs, defending champs. They have won the finals 13 times in the past 58 years.
At the other end are the PakRaks.
BeeNs is such a powerful football club, they have tentacles in the Football Association, they even own the Referees and the Linesmen as well as the Stadium security.
They even got the Football Association to ban PakRaks manager for 5 years due to ridiculous sexual misconduct charges.
Can you imagine, during the last match in 2013, even when PakRaks had 53% possession, the Refs ruled in favour of BeeNs because their goals matter more?

But something miraculous is happening in this game!
The PakRaks are LEADING in this game!
There are a number of reasons why this is happening.
Understand this.
The Captain of BeeNs is distracted because he found out he has 42 billion spermcount and wonders which woman he can have for the night.
Their Team Manager, a big fat lady,who is the Captain's wife, is actually the one running the game.
Judging from the size of her hair, she probably has a bigger hairdryer than Sir Alex Ferguson.
Also, the Vice Captain is disagreeing with the Captain on team tactics as well.
In the stands, is BeeNs owner, who wants to sack the captain because he can't wait for his son to be promoted to Vice Captain. He also used to be the team manager for 22 years.
The entire BeeNs team is not united and pretend to play for the sake of their huge weekly salaries.

The score is tied.
PakRaks has possession of the ball.

Their striker, Pashadi, has dribbled past every BeeNs defender and now one to one with the BeeNs keeper. He rounds the keeper, and faced with the open goal, does NOT score.

He starts bringing the ball back to his own half and shouting,"Pass to Who Dude? Who Dude?"
The midfield, made up of capable dappers, shouts back at him,"Brother, this is the 21st century. No one says Who Dude anymore!".

The defenders are not doing anything to stop Pashadi. They always used to listen to their Manager but he's been banned for 5 years.
His Assistant Manager, who happens to be his wife, is just a stand in until they get a better Manager.

Pashadi now stands in front of his own goal and slots the ball in. From an open goal, he has now scored an
It's a draw now.

Whistle blows for overtime, which will run out in 2018.
Question is, who will you cheer for then?

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