On a certain occasion, during an elegant welcoming reception for the new Director of Marketing of an important London company, some of the wives of the other directors, who wanted to get acquainted with the new spouse, asked her with some hesitation. "Does your spouse make you happy, truly happy?"
The husband, who at the moment was not at her side, but was sufficiently near to hear the question, paid attention to the conversation, sitting up slightly, feeling secure, even filling his chest lightly in pride, knowing that his spouse would answer affirmatively, since she had always been there for him during their marriage.
Nevertheless, to both his and the others’ surprise, she replied simply: “No, no he doesn’t make me happy...”
The room became uncomfortably silent, as if everyone were listening to the spouse’s response.
The husband was petrified.
He couldn’t believe what his wife was saying, especially at such an important occasion for him.
To the amazement of her husband and of everyone, she simply placed enigmatically on her head an elegant black silk scarf and continued: “No, he doesn’t make me happy …I AM HAPPY. The fact that I am happy or not, don’t depend on him, but on me.”
“I am the only person upon which my happiness depends.
I make the choice to be happy in each situation and in each moment of my life.
If my happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or circumstances on the face of this earth, I would be in serious trouble!”
“Everything that exists in this life changes continually: humans, wealth, my body, the climate, pleasures, etc. I could enumerate an infinite list…
“Over my life I have learned a couple of things: It’s not the responsibility of my spouse to make me happy...
He also has his “experiences or circumstances.”
I love him and he loves me, often in spite of his circumstances and of mine.”
I decide to be happy and the rest is a matter of experiences or circumstances; like helping, and understanding, accepting, listening, consoling; and with my spouse, I have lived and practiced this many times….
“He changes, I change, the environment changes, everything changes; Having forgiveness and true love, and observing these changes that can be, big or little, but always happen, we must face them with the love that exists in each one of us. If the two of us love and forgive each other, the changes will only be “experiences or circumstances” that enrich us and give us strength. Otherwise we would only be “living together.”
For some, divorce is the only solution; (…in reality it is the easiest…)
To truly love is difficult.
It is to forgive unconditionally, to live, to take the “experiences or circumstances” as they are, facing them together and being happy with conviction.