How to Help by Gwyneth Palthrow

I'm a subscriber to the newsletter from Gwyneth Palthrow, and this is a great message from her. I believe that doing good is the only thing to do and there's a myriad of ways you can choose to do:


How to Help

“When someone you know is overwhelmed by life, confronted by obstacles that are a little too heavy to carry alone, it’s easy to feel unsure of how to respond.

That’s the time to remember it’s not what you do, but that you do something.

Often, we don’t realize that what may seem like a small gesture or an insignificant act to us can actually make a meaningful difference in someone’s life.
This book offers practical ways on how to reach out to help someone and lend a hand.

There are no perfect words, no perfect gestures. Simply reach out and touch someone’s heart. Be brave, be a little more generous, be kind.”

So goes the introduction for a little book called Do Good: 201 Ways to Lend a Hand.
This is a sweet and often ingenious guide to helping us figure out ways in which we can help a loved one who needs support in some way.
It got us thinking, when life’s difficulties come crashing over, what are the ways in which we can offer a little life raft for those who have always been there for us.
Aside from those contained in “Do Good,” here are some ideas on ways to support someone who is traversing one of life’s more serious obstacles.

Love,
gp

Friends and all that

I have a few friends who are probably unknowingly "lost".
I suppose it's ok cos'
1. They're not really committed like having a family, spouse etc.
2. They don't really care where life takes them.

The only unfortunate thing about living life this way is that although you may have more fun-filled days than most people, the bad stuff will eventually happen and it hits you harder cos' you were blindsided by a lot of things and people you thought you could trust.

In these times, I can only say this to them:

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears.
But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship,from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,
room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.

If you don't know what is impossible

I've restarted my career in a totally different industry from whatever companies I've worked for in the past 15 years.
The belief in my heart is that if I don't know what is impossible, then nothing will be able to stop me.

Here's a story about George Dantzig - the famous Mathematician whose contributions to Operations Research and systems engineering have made him immortal.

As a college student, George studied very hard and often late into the night. So late, that he overslept one morning, arriving 20 minutes late for Prof. Neyman's class. He quickly copied the two maths problems on the board, assuming they were the homework assignment. It took him several hours to work through the two problems, but finally he had a breakthrough and dropped the homework on Neyman's desk the next day.

Six weeks later, on a Sunday morning, George was awakened at 6 a.m . by his excited professor. Since George was late for class, he hadn't heard the professor announce that the two unsolvable equations on the board were mathematical mind-teasers that even Einstein hadn't been able to answer.

But George Dantzig, working without any thoughts of limitation, had solved not one, but two problems that had stumped mathematicians for thousands of years. Simply put, George solved the problems because he didn't know he couldn't. You are not limited to the life you now live. It has been accepted by you as the best you can do at this moment. Any time you're ready to go beyond the limitations currently in your life, you're capable of doing that by choosing different thoughts. All you must do is figure out how you can do it, not whether or not you can. And once you have made your mind up to do it, it's amazing how your mind begins to figure out how.

A person is limited only by the thoughts that he/she chooses.

What to have for Lunch

Gem of a story from my Uncle.


One day I had lunch with some friends. Jim, a short, balding golfer type about 80 years old, came along with them---all in all, a pleasant bunch.

When the menus were presented, we ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups, except for Jim who said, "Ice Cream, please. Two scoops, chocolate.

I wasn't sure my ears heard right, and the others were aghast. "Along with heated apple pie," Jim added, completely unabashed.

We tried to act quite nonchalant, as if people did this all the time.. But when our orders were brought out, I didn't enjoy mine.

I couldn't take my eyes off Jim as his pie a-la-mode went down. The other guys couldn't believe it. They ate their lunches silently and grinned.

The next time I went out to eat, I called and invited Jim. I lunched on white meat tuna. He ordered a parfait.
I smiled. He asked if he amused me
I answered, "Yes, you do, but also you confuse me.

How come you order rich desserts, while I feel I must be sensible? He laughed and said "I'm tasting all that is Possible.

I try to eat the food I need, and do the things I should. But life's so short, my friend, I hate missing out on something good.

This year I realized how old I was. (He grinned) I haven't been this old before."
"So, before I die, I've got to try those things that for years I had ignored.
I haven't smelled all the flowers yet. There are too many trout streams I haven't fished. There's more fudge sundaes to wolf down and kites to be flown overhead.

There are too many golf courses I haven't played. I've not laughed at all the jokes. I've missed a lot of sporting events and potato chips and cokes.

I want to wade again in water and feel ocean spray on my face.

I want peanut butter every day spread on my morning toast. I want un-timed long distance calls to the folks I love the most.

I haven't cried at all the movies yet, or walked in the morning rain. I need to feel wind on my face. I want to be in love again.

So, if I choose to have dessert, instead of having dinner, then should I die before night fall, I'd say I died a winner, because I missed out on nothing. I filled my heart's desire. I had that final chocolate mousse before my life expired.."

With that, I called the waitress over.. "I've changed my mind, " I said. "I want what he is having, only add some more whipped cream!"


Be mindful that happiness isn't based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people we like and respect.

To be the very best

To be your own boss means you have to be at your best at all times. Otherwise, the people who work for you may lose their jobs and livelihood.
I keep reminding myself of this quote from Abe Lincoln:

I do the very best I know how-the very best I can; and mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won’t amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.

-- Abraham Lincoln