25 Things You'll Need to Know After High School

Attention Graduates: There is the kind of education you get in school and the kind you get afterward. Both are important. Put them together, and you have wisdom.

The trouble is, life is generally half over before you figure out what is going on. Graduating seniors can save 25 years of trial, error and hard knocks by memorizing the lessons of life listed below.

On the average, you learn about one big lesson per year after you leave high school. In really tough years, you learn two or three. Some years, you don't learn anything. After 40, you forget things and have to learn them again.

Some of this information is borrowed. Some is stolen. Some may even be original, but that's doubtful. It's pretty hard to be original in a world as old as this one.

1. Don't sweat the small stuff, and remember, most stuff is small.

2. The most boring word in any language is "I."

3. Nobody is indispensable, especially you.

4. Life is full of surprises. Just say "never" and you'll see.

5. People are more important than things.

6. Persistence will get you almost anything eventually.

7. Nobody can make you happy. Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

8. There's so much bad in the best of us and so much good in the worst of us that it doesn't behoove any of us to talk about the rest of us.

9. Live by what you trust, not by what you fear.

10. Character counts. Family matters.

11. Eating out with small children isn't worth it, even if someone else is buying.

12. If you wait to have kids until you can afford them, you probably never will.

13. Baby kittens don't begin to open their eyes for six weeks after birth. Men generally take about 26 years.

14. The world would run a lot smoother if more men knew how to dance.

15. Television ruins more minds than drugs.

16. Sometimes there is more to gain in being wrong than right.

17. Life is so much simpler when you tell the truth.

18. People who do the world's real work don't usually wear neckties.

19. A good joke beats a pill for a lot of ailments.

20. There are no substitutes for fresh air, sunshine and exercise.

21. A smile is the cheapest way to improve your looks, even if your teeth are crooked.

22. May you live life so there is standing room only at your funeral.

23. Mothers always know best, but sometimes fathers know too.

24. Forgive yourself, your friends and your enemies. You're all only human.

25. If you don't do anything else in life, love someone and let someone love you.

6 keys

 

1. The key is to remember you have a key.
2. Your words can’t fix what your actions broke.
3. Loyalty is rare. If you find it, keep it.
4. Never get so comfortable in pain that you forget happiness is still an option.
5. When it’s over, just leave. Don’t continue watering a dead flower.
6. Your taste in people will change when you learn to love yourself

The people you surround yourself with

 If you are trying to get to the next level, you must:

 

Avoid the complainers.

 

Avoid the negative.

 

Avoid the secretly or not so secretly envious.

 

Avoid the close-minded.

 

Avoid the misfortunate.

 

Avoid the uncultured.

 

Avoid the small minds.

 

Avoid the aggressive and anxious.

 

Avoid the gossipers.

 

Avoid those that drag you down to their level.

 

And instead, you must simply:

 

Surround yourself with those on the same mission as you.

 

These people must…

 

Challenge your beliefs.

 

Help you grow.

 

Force you to think bigger.

 

Be positive and supporting.

 

And above all, they must make you a better person, in one way or another.

 

There are only two types of people you will encounter:

 

#1 Those who contribute energy to your life and help support your mission.

 

#2 Those who take energy away, and derail you from your mission.

 

The second type of person comes disguised in many different forms.

 

Your employer, who wants to hold you down, so you never reach your true potential, and outgrow your role.

 

Your lover, who has weird controlling issues, and doesn't want you to be able to achieve happiness without them.

 

Your parents, who fear you will no longer need them.

 

And your friends — who may be secretly envious of you, and fear that you will become “better” than them.

 

There is a very simple way to uncover if someone is an energy giver or an energy vampire:

 

Pay attention to how interactions with people make you feel.

 

Honor your inner intelligence, and listen to all the signs your body gives you.

 

Things like different breathing, tense muscles, or just having your “vibe” killed — are all powerful indicators.

 

If you find yourself over-analyzing your conversations or actions to accommodate someone else — worried you might offend them or "say the wrong thing" chances are, they are an energy vampire.

 

At the end of the day, you are the sum of your input.

 

So make sure to be absolutely totalitarian with…

 

- What you put in your body

 

- The media you consume

 

- The conversations you have (and the stories you tell yourself)

 

And most importantly…

 

The people you surround yourself with

Learn each other's Values

 A 2001 study found couples who really open up to each other are nearly two-thirds more likely to say they have a happy union. As Casanova once said, “Love is three-quarters curiosity.” And Gottman’s research backs him up. The happiest couples understand a lot about their partners. He calls this deep knowledge a “love map.” Knowing how they like their coffee, the little worries that bother them, what their biggest hopes and dreams are. This info not only increases closeness but also reduces conflict by what Gottman calls “preemptive repair.” We all have concerns and sensitivities, rational or not, and when you’re aware of those, you can avoid them before they become an issue.

So look up from your smartphone and get to know your partner better. Knowing how they like their coffee is good, but the real value here is in understanding the personal, idiosyncratic meanings they have of things. What does love mean to them? Marriage? Happiness? Dig for their unique perspective on stuff like what “being fulfilled” entails. When you know that your partner sees the completion of household chores as an important expression of caring, then it’s not a mystery why they’re getting upset—and you can do something about it.

Dan Wile once wrote, “Choosing a partner is choosing a set of problems.” But when you take the time to get to know somebody, you can see the emotional reasons why things don’t mean to them what they might mean to you. 

That understanding can change “difficult problems” into “lovable quirks.” When you know they leave the lights on in the bathroom sometimes because of a childhood fear of the dark, the lazy idiot becomes a sympathetic human with acceptable foibles.

And, more important, Gottman says that understanding people’s idiosyncratic meanings is how you overcome those recurring problems. What does gridlock on an issue mean? It means this is tied to something important to them. Values. The same thing causing you all that grief can be a door to a deep insight into your partner. If you know what something really means to them, maybe you can find something that honors both of your visions of life.

Or maybe you can at least respect each other’s position instead of thinking they’re trying to sabotage your happiness. Like Gottman said, dealing with those perpetual problems is about regulation, not resolution. And that works a lot better when you’re honestly able to tell them “I don’t agree, but I see why you feel that way.”

Expanding on meaning, talking about dreams and values may sound saccharine, but it’s crucial. You’re on a journey together, so it’s kinda important that you both wanna head in the same direction, eh? What’s their ideal life? Their ideal self? These are big questions, but if you start answering them, the smaller stuff starts falling into place and that crazy person you live with can start to make sense. All couples argue about money. Why? Because money is all about values. It’s a quantification of what’s important to you. Get closer to an understanding of their values, and the money problem magically gets easier to deal with.

You don’t want to just “get along.” God, how low a standard is that? Do all the above right and you get on the path to shared meaning. To having your own secret language. An emotional shorthand. Silly stuff infused with rich personal meaning. Those inside jokes, things you say that are crazy to everyone else but mean so much to the two of you. This is when couples truly can’t bear to be apart, because they have a shared identity, a shared story, because the other person is inextricably a part of their future progress, future goals, and how they will become their ideal self.

And that unique culture should be supported by unique rituals. A big part of making this special culture of two and cementing a shared identity is infusing the day-to-day with that special meaning. These aren’t the big, exciting moments of expansion; they’re the little things. Mealtimes, bedtime, vacations, date night, partings, reunitings, scheduled snuggling appointments, and celebrations are all perfect moments for having a special, weird something that sets your love apart.

A good concrete one to start with? At the end of the workday when you reunite, you each take a turn sharing the good news of the day. And both of you support and celebrate what the other says. Repeated studies have shown this can boost happiness and relationship satisfaction. UCSB professor Shelly Gable has found that how couples celebrate can actually be more important than how you fight. Again, like Gottman said, in many cases, if you increase the positive, the negative doesn’t matter quite as much

What are the Moscow rules?

The “Moscow Rules” is a collection of ten one-liners. They are the secret code that separates winners from losers in Russian power games.

1. Assume nothing.
2. Never go against your gut.
3. Everyone is potentially under opposition control.
4. Do not look back; you are never completely alone.
5. Go with the flow, blend in.
6. Vary your pattern and stay within your cover.
7. Lull them into a sense of complacency.
8. Do not harass the opposition.
9. Pick the time and place for action.
10. Keep your options open.

10 things for 2022

 1. Fall in love with your problems, maybe they will leave you too.

2. No pressure, no diamonds.

3. People come and go, that’s life.

4. Losing toxic people is a win.

5. Healthy relationships include uncomfortable conversations.

6. Take more chances, dance more dances.

7. Stop carrying old feelings into new experiences.

8. Before you judge someone about their anger, ask them about their pain.

9. Who you are becoming is more important than who you’ve been.

10. Do more of what makes you happy