A list of my thoughts, lest I forget what I was thinking at that particular time. Always been a reader, now it's time to scribe.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Is it important how many friends you have?
I don't think it's really the number of friends you have, but how much of a friend YOU are to them.
Here's a poem for you to ponder.
An old man turned to me and asked,
"How many friends have you?"
"Why, ten or twenty friends have I,"
And I named off just a few.
He smiled a knowing smile at me
And sadly shook his head.
"How lucky you must be
To have so many friends," he said.
"But think of what you're saying.
There's so much that you don't know!
A friend is just not someone
To whom you say "Hello"!"
"A friend's a tender shoulder
On which to softly cry,
A well to pour your troubles down
And raise your spirits high.
A friend's a hand to pull you up
From darkness and despair,
When all your other so-called "friends"
Have helped to put you there!
A true friend is an ally
Who can't be moved or bought,
A voice to keep your name alive
When others have forgot.
But most of all a friend's a heart,
A strong and sturdy wall,
For from the hearts of friends there comes
The greatest love of all!
So think of what I've spoken,
For every word is true.
And answer once again, my child,
How many friends have you?"
And then he stood and faced me,
Awaiting my reply.
I smiled at him and answered,
"At least ONE friend have I!"
Thanks for being MY FRIEND!
The Story Teller - a Change In Attitude, part 2 of Chapter 2
The man nodded his head toward the young couple,
"I was just commenting on young love. They seem to be very much in love. I doubt if they know that anyone else is in the restaurant."
Beth looked over at the couple and gave the man a weak smile. She thought to herself that it would be great if their love could remain as bright in the future as it apparently was today. She wondered to herself if all love dimmed with time. She wondered if it ever became so dim that it wasn't worth trying to relight the spark.
"My daughter and her husband were once that much in love," the old man said snapping Beth back into the present.
Beth smiled and looked down at her glass. Her table-mate was beginning to go where Beth didn't want to go. There was a period of silence as the old man began to take a sip of his coffee.
"Do you and your wife live in the city?" Beth asked to turn the conversation to a place where she would feel more comfortable.
"No, my wife passed on several years ago. I'm afraid that she worried about our daughter so much that she neglected her own needs."
"I'm sorry," Beth said, "Is your daughter alright now... I mean are she and her husband okay now?"
As soon as the words were out of her mouth she wished that she hadn't said them. Beth wished that there had been other seats open. She didn't really want company today.
"No, they've gone their separate ways. They stayed together for years leading separate lives. They both gave up on the marriage years before they called it quits. It was just little things that began to eat on them and the little things would fester until they became large issues. They both retreated into themselves and they both used alcohol as a crutch."
Beth looked around the restaurant and saw that no one was looking their way. She tried to take another sip of her drink and found that it was empty. She put the glass down.
"Sometimes a marriage just can't be saved," Beth said.
"I'm afraid that they didn't really try to save it very hard," the old man continued,
"like so many other coupes they lost the will to communicate with each other. I guess they expected each other to instinctively know what the other was thinking or needed. The alcohol gave them an excuse to avoid talking out their problems."
Beth began to think of her own marriage. She and Bruce rarely had any conversation except to gripe about something one or the other had said or some imagined slight by one of them. It suddenly hit her that she and Bruce were each living their own lives while living in the same house.
Bruce hadn't talked about his work in several years.
She never talked to Bruce about her work.
"I've never been able to figure why couples stop talking to each other," the old man said, "it just seems so natural to talk to each other and find outhow your spouse's day went. Has our world gotten so fast that we haven't the time to talk to each other anymore? How can couples forget the qualities that brought them together in the first place?
We spend so much time worrying about the small things that we forget to live."
"Did your daughter ever remarry?" Beth asked.
"No. I'm afraid that my daughter has become a bitter woman. She looks for the faults in every man that she meets and she always seems to find some flaw in the man that she feels she could never put up with. She spends her evenings watching television with a drink in her hand. I don't know whatever happened to her ex-husband. The last time I saw him was at a sales conference in Dallas. He was so drunk that he didn't even recognize me. People were going out of their way to avoid him. I've never understood why some people feel that alcohol will numb the pain that they feel."
Beth didn't say anything for a while. She knew that if she gave the old man any clue to what her marriage was like she would start crying. The old man's words were hitting her right in the gut. She and Bruce were just a short way from hating each other. She began to wonder when her marriage would end; they just couldn't go on like this. She was very unhappy and she knew that Bruce was too.
She became aware that the old man was saying something to her, "I'm sorry.My mind was beginning to wander. What did you say?"
"I said that your husband is a very lucky man. You are obviously very intelligent, you carry yourself with confidence and you're very beautiful. He's a lucky man indeed."
Tears came to Beth's eyes, "I'm afraid that he doesn't feel that way. We're just two people that are living in the same house. I don't know why we even live together anymore."
"Did you love each other once?" the man asked.
Beth nodded her head. If she had tried to talk she would have started to sob. She still loved Bruce but she couldn't stand the way they had grown apart. She wanted him around but she was uncomfortable being around him.They never discussed anything anymore.
The old man put his hand over hers. "Do you talk to each other anymore?"
Beth shook her head.
"Please try to talk to him," the old man continued, "Some men try to keep all of their troubles hidden inside of them. They seem to have to prove to the woman that they can conquer anything. I guess that it's a macho thing. Men often forget that a woman needs to talk to her mate and feel a closeness to him. Promise me that you'll try to talk to him. See if there's still a spark of love that you get reignited. I can see in your eyes that you still love him but the pain that you have caused each other is causing you both to withdraw into yourselves."
Beth stood up with tears in her eyes, "Please excuse me. I'll be back."
She hurried to the ladies room before she started sobbing. In the ladies room she stood for a long time staring into the mirror at her reflection.When the tears stopped she fixed her makeup and went back into the restaurant.
As she neared her table she saw that the chair that the old man had been sitting in was empty. The chair was pushed in as if no one had been there.
The waitress came to the table, "Are you ready to order now?"
Beth looked up at the pleasant woman standing next to her, "What happened to the man that was sitting with me?"
The waitress put her hand on Beth's shoulder, "Are you driving today? ShouldI bring you a coffee? You've been sitting here alone since you came in. How about I get you a coffee."
The waitress left and soon came back with a coffee. Beth ordered a turkeyclub sandwich. While her food was being prepared she tried to think about the old man. He was real, she knew that. Maybe others couldn't see him, but Beth knew that she and the old man had talked.
When her sandwich came she just picked at it and thought about what the old man had said. Beth and Bruce had to talk. They had too many years invested in their marriage to just let it die. They had two fine children to raise and prepare for life.
A smile came to Beth's lips.
Prepare her children for their future;
Beth and Bruce weren't doing such a great job themselves.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Story to make you smile
As the bus slowed down at the crowded bus stop, the bus conductor leaned from the platform andcalled out "Six only!"
The bus stopped.
He counted out six passengers, rang the bell, and then, as the bus moved off, called to those left behind:
"So sorry, plenty of room in my heart -- but the bus is full."
He left behind a row of smiling faces.
It's not what you do; it's the way that you do it.
- Francis Gay
Thought for today
Everything works out in the end.
If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end.
The Story Teller - Part 1 of Chapter 2
Here's Chapter 2, the first part.
Chapter Two
Beth sat at the table in the restaurant looking at the lunch menu.
She would be eating alone today. Meg had called a couple of minutes ago and said that she had to get one of her kids from school. The school nurse had called and said that the child had been throwing up and was running a slight fever. Beth was glad that her children were older and had grown out of those mysterious childhood sicknesses that began quickly and ended just as quick.
She finished her Vodka and orange juice and motioned for the waitress that was passing her table to refresh her drink. This would be her last drink until after dinner. No sense tempting fate and getting a DUI.
After Bruce went into his study she often had a couple of drinks to relax her while she watched TV. She knew that Bruce was drinking as he worked; she could smell it when he came to bed even though he had a breath mint in his mouth when he entered the bedroom.
Her eyes began to wonder around the room. She watched a young couple sitting at a booth. They were obviously in love. They both sat on the same side ofthe booth and they held hands and smiled at each other constantly. They were oblivious to all of the other diners. Beth's breath caught in her throat when she remembered that she and Bruce used to be like that.
Beth stared at her drink.
What had happened to the two of them?
Bruce made very good money and Beth had her own business as an interior designer. They had always been inseparable. They used to go on vacations to exotic places, explored new places in New England and took pride in their home. Their house was always full of friends and the walls vibrated with laughter. She couldn't remember when their marriage had become such a chore. It had been a long time since any friends had stopped by. Beth couldn't remember when they held the last party at the house. Meg was her only friend and Meg took pains to avoid being in the house when Bruce was home. Meg said that she couldn't stand the constant bickering between Beth and Bruce.
She was concentrating on the liquid in the bottom of her glass and became aware that someone close to her was talking. She looked up to see an older man smiling at her. The man had said something that she hadn't heard; at least she didn't think she did.
"I'm sorry," Beth said, "I didn't hear what you said."
"It seems that there's a lunch-time rush today," the old man said softly,"There are no seats left. Would you mind terribly if I sat at your table? I'm only going to have a coffee. I've been shopping and my legs are protesting loudly."
Beth smiled and motioned for the man to sit down. She saw that his hair was a striking silver that reminded her of Donald Sutherland's hair. Not a hair was out of place. Beth acknowledged his thank you as the waitress came to the table. The man ordered his coffee and the waitress left; leaving them alone at the table.
"Please don't think that I am being forward but I must say that you are a very beautiful woman," the old man said pleasantly.
Beth thanked him and took another sip of her drink. Right now she didn't feel very beautiful. She had just come from a client's house. The job was complete and she was making a courtesy call to ensure that everything was to the client's satisfaction. Throughout the project there had been flirtations and innuendos between the two of them. Beth was tempted to follow through with the client's veiled suggestions but she got cold feet.
She had never been unfaithful to Bruce and she didn't know if she ever could be unfaithful to him. Her exit from the upscale residence had been tense and it made Beth uneasy that she had acted so unprofessionally with a client.
She heard the old man say something, "I'm sorry. My mind was wandering. Whatdid you say?"
Monday, September 07, 2009
The Story Teller - Part 2 of Chapter 1
Bruce heard words but he didn't really hear them until he realized the the man sitting next to him was talking to him, "Uh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you."
The man smiled slightly and nodded toward the front of the train, "That woman, sitting at the front of the car reminds me of a woman that I knew many years ago. She was the wife of a friend of mine. That woman has the same inner beauty that my friend's wife had."
Bruce gave the man a weak smile and turned to look out of the window; hoping that the man wouldn't continue talking. He just didn't feel like talking to a stranger this morning.
Bruce had never talked to the woman that the old man had indicated but he had heard someone call her Jennifer once so he figured that was her name. He had heard someone talking to her about one of the fashion houses so he thought that she might be in the fashion industry.
"Are you married?" the man asked.
Bruce turned to look at the man, "Yes, two children."
He hoped that the additional information about his two children would give the man all of the information that the man wanted to hear about Bruce.Bruce wondered where the man got on the train. He had never seen the man before.
"Ah yes, children," the man continued, "God's reward for putting up with the trials and troubles of life. Man's grasp on immortality. "
"My friend and his wife," the old man continued, "oh it was so many years ago, they were so much in love. It was like God made Tom and Sarah for each other and that no one else in the world would have suited either of them.I'm afraid that if they hadn't found each other that they both would have remained unmarried."
Bruce smiled politely and looked out of the window again.
He realized that the man was talking again, "They had two children. They were smart as they could be. Everyone knew that those two children would rule the world one day. They were two of the most pleasant children that ever walked the earth. Teachers used to cry when the children moved to the next grade. Circumstances kept them from reaching their full potential though."
Before Bruce realized that he was walking into the man's trap he asked,"What happened to them?"
"Heredity happened. You see, Tom's father was an alcoholic. The drinking and the weekend beatings drove Tom's mother off when he was eight. His father transferred the beatings to Tom after the mother was gone. Tom withdrew into himself and never told anyone about the drinking and beatings. He quickly found that it would be best if he avoided having friends over to his house. Soon he avoided making friends completely. Tom took every opportunity to stay out of the house and away from his father.
Tom was the type of person that didn't have to study. He got straight A's in every class. If ever anyone was meant to go to college it was Tom. It just wasn't to be though. Tom ran away from home at sixteen, lied about his age and joined the Army. He was sent to Korea and he won several medals. He was wounded and spent time in the hospital in Arizona."
Bruce had turned to listen to the man's story, "No, I meant what happened to the children you were talking about?"
The man continued as if Bruce had never spoken, "It was in Arizona that Tom met his future wife. Sarah had been raised by her father. Her mother had been killed in an automobile accident when Sarah was an infant. Sarah's father was a fine upstanding man until Sarah started to blossom out as a woman. He would only drink once or twice a year but on those few occasion she would abuse her shamefully. He was very repentant when he sobered up. He would cry for weeks after it happened and apologize to her over and over, but the damage had already been done to Sarah's soul. Sarah began to drink when she was in high school. She never got drunk and she never drank more than one or two at first. She got into casual sex, searching for the love that she never found at home. When she met Tom she felt that she had met the man of her dreams. He was quiet and didn't drink much and he loved her. Before too long she found out she was pregnant with Tom's child. Sarah's father signed the consent form allowing them to be married."
The man paused, "I'm sorry. I'm bending your ear. Please excuse the ramblings of an old man."
Bruce smiled and turned to the window. He could fill in the rest of the story for himself.
After a few minutes Bruce turned to the man, "What happened to Tom and Sarah's children?"
"Their first born was a boy. He was a handsome boy from the minute he was born. All you had to do was look at that boy and you knew he was destined for great things. They named him Adam. Tom got out of the Army and started to work to support his young family. Without a high school diploma all he could find was low paying jobs and they didn't usually last long. Soon a daughter was born and they named her Mary after Sarah's mother. As is often the case with people that have parents like he had, Tom felt that he had been cheated by not being able to lead a normal life and get the education that he had the brains for. He and Sarah began to drink more often and sometimes the children would go unattended for several days. Soon Tom started to drink until he got drunk and then he would vent his frustration on Sarah. Sarah put up with the beatings because she loved Tom and because he was her drinking partner.
The noise from the train rails became louder. Bruce's mind wandered to his own childhood and, in his mind's eye, he saw his father beating his mother in a drunken rage. Bruce would hide because he knew that if his father saw him, some of the beatings would be his.
The old man continued, "When Mary was about four, Sarah disappeared. Tom never looked for her. He convinced the county somehow that he couldn't work because he had to look after the children and he went on welfare. A lot ofthe welfare check went to buy alcohol for Tom and he supplemented his check by burglarizing homes in the more affluent sections of town. Three years after Sarah had disappeared she showed up at Tom's front door again. She wasn't the beautiful woman that she once was. She was hooked on heroin and alcohol. She had been working as a prostitute for two years. She came back to Tom because she had no where else to go. She had advanced ovarian cancer.Tom took her in and she lived with him for about a year before she died. Poor Tom went off the deep end. The children had to fend for themselves after that."
The old man began to look off into the distance and Bruce asked, "Did the kids make it?'
The old man continued, "Adam fell in with a gang. Alcohol became a big thing in his life too. When he was fifteen he tried to hold up a convenience store and killed the clerk. The clerk was reaching for the money and Adam thought that he was reaching for a gun. Adam shot the clerk twice in the head. The police picked Adam up after they viewed the surveillance tapes. He's sitting on death row right now."
"What about Mary? Did she turn out OK?"
The old man sighed, "Mary's nude body was found in a ravine. She had been working as a prostitute. She had been raped and shot. The animals had started to eat her dead body."
Bruce shuddered, "So many lives destroyed."
The old man nodded, "Children of alcoholics usually wind up as adults with many mental problems."
Bruce turned his face to the window so that the old man couldn't see his tears. He began to examine his own life and he saw that he was continuing the cycle. He wondered what damage he had already done to his own children.His son was already withdrawn and didn't have many friends and his daughter stayed in her room most of the time with her door closed. Both of his children rarely spoke to him unless Bruce initiated the conversation.
Beth's face came before his eyes. Bruce and Beth argued constantly. Lately he was beginning to wonder what he ever saw in her. At times he suspected that she had a lover. They had become like two strangers living under thesame roof. He sobbed very softly; he still loved Beth. Was there any way to undo the mess that they had created?
Bruce turned to the old man. The seat next to him was empty. He turned and looked toward the back of the train but the old man was not in sight.
Bruce turned to the man sitting on the aisle seat opposite his seat, "What happened to the man that I was talking to?"
The man looked surprised for a second and then began to grin, "You must havebeen dreaming. There hasn't been anyone in that seat since you got on. Are you done with your paper?"
Bruce handed the man his paper. He turned to the window as the train pulled into the station. He saw the sign designating the town's name. He turned to get another look at the sign before it was out of sight. It was the second station on the way to New York City; the station after the one where Bruce started and ended his trip to the city every day... The station was only twelve miles from where he got on. The train had only been traveling a few minutes. That couldn't be! Bruce and the old man had been talking much longer than that!
Coming soon...........Chapter 2